“We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act.” - Swami Vivekananda
औरत हूँ मैं - घर की साज-सज्जा में अपने आप को पूर्ण समझती
बच्चों के आस-पास रह कर अपनी ममता की किरण बिखेरती
पति की सेवा में ही आनंद की अनुभूति करती ,
सास- ससुर की अच्छी या कड़वी बातों को ही अपना संसार समझती ,
वही औरत हूँ मैं - हाँ वही हूँ मैं
पर आज घर की चारदीवारी से बाहर निकल चुकी हूँ मैं
अपनी क्षमता की मिसाल बाहरी दुनिया में साबित कर चुकी हूँ मैं
अपने माँ होने के एहसास के साथ घर की जिम्मेदारियों का एहसास भी है मुझे
अपने अस्तित्व को अपनी कुशलता से पूर्ण करने की प्यास है मुझे
कौन सा क्षेत्र है जहाँ मैंने अपना रंग नहीं जमाया
आदमियों के कंधा से कंधा नहीं मिलाया
मैं अगर एक कोमल एहसास हूँ , तो ज्वाला भी हूँ
सती अन्शुया हूँ , तो निक्की हेली और इंदिरा नूई भी हूँ .
मैं अगर ताकत हूँ, तो विन्ध्वंश भी हूँ .
मैं गीत हूँ . तो बिजली भी हूँ .
जिन्दंगी के हर चैलेंजे को स्वीकार करने की क्षमता है मुझे
घर-बाहर दोनों को सँभालने की ताकत है मुझे
मेरे इस बदलते तेवर से आदमी ही नही, मैं खुद भी बहुत हैरान हूँ
मैं वो शक्ति हूँ , जो चाहे तो बारिश की बूँद की तरह तृप्त कर दे
और न चाहे तो nuclear bomb की तरह तबाह कर दे .
दोस्तों, मैं दासता के पन्नों से बाहर निकल चुकी हूँ
और आनेवाले समय के लिए इतिहास लिख रही हूँ .
I am somehow very passionate about this subject. I recently gave a speech on this topic in a wedding function. I think in modern times, a new definition, a new outlook has been given to marriage. Every passing day, its meaning is changing. It is no more in the boundaries of our scriptures or shastras. Whether the institution of marriage is crumbling or evolving, it is difficult to say. There are people who still believe in this institution but it seems that the youth of today want to experiment with this idea. So, we are seeing different kind of alliances such as arranged marriage, love marriage and inter-faith marriage There is another one known as Live-in or common-law.
As we all know, there is no set formula for the success of a happy marriage. I never felt that in arranged marriage, the girl & the boy have no say. They are given a choice to select their partners. The only difference may be that they do not go out together before marriage as they do in love marriage. In my view, any type of marriage is marriage after marriage and one has to work on it. It needs not only love, compassion & consideration but a lot of sacrifice & tolerance in order to make it successful, as people coming from two different backgrounds, different upbringing & different values have different outlook & understanding of life. In love marriage, people have the misconception of knowing each other. People's behaviour changes as per the situation & circumstances and then they take it as a blow as they never witnessed this kind of reaction from their partner to whom they thought of "knowing". Any relationship works only when we want it to work.
Still in a way, love marriage has become the demand of the time, but I would like parents to educate their children from their experience to look for a boy or a girl with a good & educated family background because that will constitute the boy's/girl's entire behaviour, his/her moral values etc. Love marriage does not mean to choose whomsoever. It is a question of spending a happy & peaceful life together, so one should see compatibility, education & family. A person's own upbringing contributes a lot in terms of choosing a partner. I also encourage love marriage especially in India because it is in some way helping to eradicate the dowry system, because of which, well educated and good looking girls cannot get married to the right person and have to compromise as per their parents’ economic condition.
I am not so pro for inter-faith marriages. Marriage in itself is a complex institution, why to make it more complex? But I definitely will discuss the pros & cons of inter faith marriage some other time. Please feel free to drop your comments, it certainly will help me to understand the subject better.
This is my first poem...thought of sharing with all of you..
चुप रहना शायद एक अच्छी बात होती है
पर जिन्दंगी की लम्बी दौड़ में ये कई बार घातक भी होती है
ये चुप अगर आपको समस्या से निकालती है
तो कई बार समस्या मैं डालती भी है
जो बात उनके एक बोल से किसी निष्कर्ष पर पहुँच सकती है
वो लम्बे समय तक सरकारी फाइलों के पन्नों में बंद रहती है
चुप अगर प्रसाद है , तो प्रताड़ना भी है
किसी के जिन्दंगी के घुटन या इन्सेकुरिटी का एहसास भी है
आप चुप जरूर रहें , ये अच्छा गुण है
पर कृप्या अपने चुप को हथियार की तरह इस्तेमाल न करें
The Common Wealth Games have finished and so I let out a sigh of relief saying to myself, "all's well that ends well". I feel proud that India scored 2nd just after Australia as far as gold medals are concerned. India did well in spite of all the uproar and allegations of corruption. I feel proud as an Indian and happy for Canada as it secured its position by gaining 4th place.
Since then I have been questioning myself - why do I get so happy or sad when it comes to Indian victory or failure? I am a Canadian citizen, and yet my loyalty is more towards my country of birth than the country of my citizenship. My heart pains when media here talks badly about India. I become defensive and start behaving like a brand ambassador of India although I am not officially appointed. My heart rejoices when India is praised, or handles any crisis intelligently and practically. I feel proud when our cricket team does well or our girls become Miss Universe or Miss World. I feel happy when an Indian living outside gets a Nobel prize. It gives me an identity. Even if we are holders of a Canadian passport we will be first known as a national of India and its image, its progress , and its good and bad will get associated with our image. We will be treated accordingly in our work place...e.g. Indian getting opportunities in the Silicon Valley based upon their performance in their own country first.
I feel we Indians, living outside, should try our best to always keep the flag of India high and contribute our best to the society we live in. We all are, as individuals, carrying the responsibility of being an ambassador of our country, so we should represent ourselves in the best possible manner. We should not think of India only as a shopping centre (because of the low cost) but also a place where the philosophy of love, compassion, understanding and mysticism originated. The world looks towards it for higher meaning and higher salvation. Wherever I may be, I will never forget that I am an Indian first. Jai Hind.
Recently Hindi became a bone of contention in India. Lots of news channels were debating about the legitimacy of Hindi as a national language. I have some opinions on this topic so I thought of sharing them with all of you.
Being an Indian myself and living outside India for almost 17 yrs., these matters still concern me. I love Hindi and speak Hindi all the time whenever I get a chance. I have taught the language to my children as well. The sad thing is that Hindi is not widely accepted in India, and since we as Indians are divided on so many issues, we don't mind doing regional and communal politics even if they are sensitive issues of national interest. Recently, I was watching a debate conducted by NDTV and CNN-IBN and was appalled to see the amount of resistance Hindi is facing from within India. Though majority of the Indian population speaks Hindi, it is still not an accepted language and most of them from other states were saying it is a dysfunctional language. How any other regional language can be functional, I cannot understand. They are willing to accept English as their national language and not Hindi, because it will be a defeat on their part. Though only 8% of population in India can speak English, the English channels were trying to project that 48% of the janta in India are in favour of English.
First of all, on this kind of a forum, we need a good Hindi speaker, who can look educated, elegant, and sophisticated enough to be heard by so called-anchors of the shows and other invited guests. They never invite a highly sophisticated, elegant and stylish person who can represent the majority interest of the people of India.
The second issue is about convent schools. For this I think, we, our mind-set, competition outside, and lack of govt's will to improve the quality of Hindi schools, were responsible for its failure. 4-5 years ago, when I was in India, I met my mom's maid servant who was a young girl of 14-15 and she sounded very intelligent. So I asked her to enrol herself in the Govt. Girl's High school. She refused. She said, if she ever goes to school, she would like to go to an English school. She doesn't want to go to a school where the teachers give work to children and then get busy into knitting and other kind of activities. I was shocked to listen to this impression from a village girl, who refused to be educated at all if she had to go to a Hindi school. Hindi schools have poor etiquettes and almost zero presentation. Teachers are not up to the mark. If we want people to send their children to our own schools, we will have to improve a lot of things in order to make it functional. Govt. representatives keep on visiting Europe and North America, but they never try to learn and implement things that are good about the west. For them, coming to the west means eating, drinking and being merry. When it’s time to go back home, then they do petty politics.
Today, at least Raj Thackeray (Maharashtra) and M.K. Kanimozhi (Tamilnadu), who are involved in language politics are able to sustain themselves, although they and their children didn't go to regional schools, because they think English is an international language and so they need to know it in order to progress. Where is a Hindi ka pratinidhi ( a strong one)...when Samajwadi party tries to fight it out...it sounds more like politics than a real concern. When BJP says something, they make it look like saffron politics or desi politics or fundamental politics. We need a strong Hindi voice that belongs to someone who knows how to play the game with all sophistication and elegance.
While reading Vivekananda I came across these statements of his, (1888-1902)
"Non-Injury is right. 'Resist not evil' is a great thing – these are indeed grand principles; but the scriptures say,' Thou art a house-holder; if anyone smites thee on thy cheek, and thou dost not return him an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, thou will verily be a sinner.' Manu says, 'When one has come to kill you, there is no sin in killing him, even though he be a Brahmin.' (Manu, Viii. 350) This is very true, and this is a thing which should not be forgotten. Heroes only enjoy the world. Show your heroism; apply, according to circumstances, the fourfold political maxims of conciliation, bribery, sowing, dissensions and open war, to win over your adversary and enjoy the world – then you will be Dharmika (righteous). Otherwise, you live a disgraceful life if you pocket your insults when you are kicked and trodden down by anyone who takes it into his head to do so; your life is a veritable hell here, and so is the life hereafter. This is what the shastras say. Do your Svadharma – this is truth, the truth of truths. This is my advice to you, my beloved co-religionists. Of course, do not do any wrong. Do not injure or tyrannize over anyone, but try to do good to others as much as you can. But passively to submit to wrong done by others is a sin – with the householder. He must try to pay them back in their own coin then and there."
At another place he is saying to his devotees,
“Bless others when they revile you. Think how much good they are doing you; they can only hurt themselves. Go where people hate you, let them thrash the ego out of you, and you will get nearer to God.”
I find these two statements very contradictory. At one place he is advocating “an eye for an eye” and at the other he is advising to visit those who can insult or humiliate us with good grace, so that we can be able to tame our ego and thus learn the art of surrendering completely to the Lord.
I have seen few people reacting or humiliating others for trivial things and then justifying it by citing Vivekananda’s householder definition. To understand the background of this statement, I would like to go back into Swami Vivekananda’s other lectures which he gave regarding Bauddhistic practices. He found Buddhism quite unpractical because the path of Moksha, (sannyasa) cannot be for all. This desire of many, made society dysfunctional and India got invaded by other kings and countries and lost to them on the name of Moksha and non-violence. In regards to the context and timing of Swami Vivekananda’s delivered speech, the message of action versus passivity was greatly needed. During the time of British rule in India along with Bauddhistic practices, citizens of India were taking the backseat to their own nation’s affairs, in the attempt to follow Buddhism. Although non-violence is definitely feasible on paper, it is not always practical. Keeping that in mind Swami Vivekananda gave that lecture to householders to convey the message that one should do their duty as per their dharma and position. If it comes to fight, then one should fight if the end cause is important and worthwhile.
As far as the second statement is concerned, it is very difficult to take the insult and understand the cause of it. Not only the cause of it, but to have an understanding of why the person has insulted you. But, if one gains understanding of the others' perspective, then that person goes far in life. Although the two statements are contradictory, they cannot be judged solely on their content, but also must have their time period and context taken into consideration.
Think about it and do send me your comments and interpretation of these statements.
A time comes in our lives, when we think of having a Guru so that our journey on spiritual path become a little easy with the guidance and blessings of the guru. I am anxious to find a Guru, a real guru who can hold my hand, guide me and take me on the path of the highest truth. However, I also know that it is not that simple. In this age of media and technology we keep on listening to many stories, where so called gurus are robbing people of their money and trust. It has become a very lucrative business because in this field, we don’t ask too many questions about the credibility of the gurus. We are fearful, ignorant and have the belief that on the name of dharma no one will cheat us. We are getting into the trap of fancy inspiring speeches, knowledge or their claim of being an “avatar”. Religious terrorism is very much in practice and thus, these so-called spiritual gurus are so financially strong that no one can do any harm to them.
Therefore, the question is how to find a guru? These days even diksha or initiation is being given more so for bringing lots of people under one particular (on the name of gurus or ashrams) umbrella. What it actually means, and whether one is ready for it or not, does not seem to hold importance. While surfing the net, I came across this ad, “In the Internet you can find millions of mantras. But which one is right for you? Now you can ask Swami XYZ for a personal mantra for your issues of love and relationships, finance, health, or your spiritual way. By working with your personal mantra you can bring your consciousness to another level. Swami Ji will connect with your energy and find the mantra which is beneficial, particularly for you!”
Knowing the seriousness of this business, even the seeker needs to do little homework before finding the real guru. One should not succumb to the pressure or to the false aura created by a few devotees, unless the person himself feels the need and connectivity with the guru. Our scriptures are full of stories and characteristics to identify a real guru. I am trying to explore a few here. In Gita, Lord Krishna says to Arjuna,
“Acquire the transcendental knowledge from a Self-realized master by humble reverence, by sincere inquiry, and by service. The empowered ones, who have realized the Truth, will teach you.” (4.34)
But the question is how to know who possesses the real quality of a guru? Lord Krishna has described these qualities in chapter 4, verse 18-23 very nicely. Also in” Vivekchudamani” Adi Shankaracharya has described the qualities of a sadguru as follows:
33. Who is versed in the Vedas, sinless, unsmitten by desire and a knower of Brahman par excellence, who has withdrawn himself into Brahman; who is calm, like fire that has consumed its fuel, who is a boundless reservoir of mercy that knows no reason, and a friend of all good people who prostrate themselves before him.
37. These are good souls, calm and magnanimous, who do well to others as does the spring, and who, having themselves crossed this dreadful ocean of birth and death, help others also to cross the same, without any motive whatsoever.
The duty of a guru is to bring a disciple close to god and to help one establish a relationship with God. A genuine spiritual teacher always considers themselves a servant of the Supreme lord. Let’s see what Sri Ramkrishna Paramhansa had to say about a real guru. He says, “Satchidananda alone is the Guru. If a man in the form of a guru awakens spiritual consciousness in you, then know for certain that it is God the Absolute who has assumed that human form for your sake. The guru is like a companion who leads you by the hand. After the realization of God, one loses the distinction between the guru and the disciple. The relationship between them remains as long as the disciple does not see God."
So a genuine spiritual master is a true necessity and an extremely rare blessing. Upon finding such a teacher, one must approach him or her and inquire about the truth of life. At the same time, to a genuinely sincere student seeking a Guru, the Supreme Being inspires him from within the heart.. Spiritual life is not a retreat; it is an inner journey, a journey of self discovery.
If we are seekers, we have to be wise and intelligent in our search of a guru. We have to combine our sensibility with worldly wisdom if we ever want to truly succeed. We should know how to discriminate becausewe want spiritual salvation and no one else can do it for us as we have to save ourselves. So we should start relying on our own wisdom.
A true master will have elevated conduct. The mind will be pure, desires will be less. Always remember, we have to achieve our goal by our own effort. We have to cultivate ourselves. No one can do it for us. There is no instant mantra for spiritual salvation. It is not a cocktail whipped together by a whimsical combination of asanas and breathing exercises. It is easy to say that ‘I am not the Body’, but to understand and apply it in daily life is a different experience all together. It implies a change in consciousness, a transformation in the way one views the world around them. This requires a spiritual teacher or a Bonafide Guru but we should have the wisdom of knowing who the real guru is.
