Love is something that we always fantasize about as a beautiful, romantic escapade. It is said that love is poetry, born out of the sheer joy of being. Love is song, dance, celebration, a song of gratitude, a dance of thankfulness, a celebration of no reason at all. I also grew up with the poetry of John Keats, William Wordsworth, P.B. Shelly, Christina Rossetti, Thomas Browning and many more. In today’s modern world, everything is being defined in a new way. So why not Love? What compelled me to juggle my mind is an event which occurred recently.
A few days back, I met a client in my office and while I was busy working on his file, his phone rang. He left the work in the middle and went outside to talk. It took him a good 20-25 mints to come back. As soon as he returned his phone rang again. He saw the number and did not pick up the phone. The caller continued calling in spite of him cutting it off. The phone rang at least 10 times while he was in the office. I asked him what the problem was? He said the caller was his girlfriend, who is trying to harass him. They still live together, but now he wants to move out, which is not acceptable to his girlfriend. As a result, she is after him and wants to know about his whereabouts. At that time, this beautiful four line poem by Dr. Harivans Rai Bachchan struck me “Pralay ki raat mein soche, Pranay ki baat kya koi; magar pad prem bandhan mein, samajh kisne nahin khoi”.
After he left, I was wondering why is it that one time friends or lovers who used to vouch for each other, who did everything to win the other person’s trust and love, who always used to look for a chance to spend time together, who used to compliment and praise each other, are now running away from each other. They are now making each other’s lives miserable by saying foul things which one would never imagine; showering each other with loads of allegations, and thus annihilating each other’s character. The notion of losing the friendship or love of the other person makes one so wild and revengeful that they completely forget their sensibility and sanity to handle the relationship. They forget that the more they try to hold on to it, the more it will slip from their hands. When we see that a relationship is giving us more tension than peace, we should try to reason it out and let that relationship go. Maybe our learning through that relationship is over and it‘s time to say good-bye and move on. Love shouldn’t make a beggar of one. Love is something that must be given – it can’t be bought with words or pity, or even reason.
When I hear people bringing out all their personal stories in public to defend themselves or their actions, I wonder, how at one time they might have enjoyed sharing the same stories together. How we as human beings become so mean to pass derogatory comments for the person whom we once loved with all our heart & soul. I feel nothing but pity at that time and a heavy sadness that it had to end this way. Why can’t we just turn that relationship into more of a formal friendship? And slowly & gradually as we heal, we will become more comfortable to sit and have a cup of tea with that same person. Even sitting with him/her will bring back no memories; only the acid knowledge that time has passed. As you heal through a relationship, you sure will be able to say,
“I return the bitterness
Which you gave to me,
It is washed by tears
Now it is loveliness
Garnished through the years.”- Anonymous
Every relationship or event is a part of our learning. But at that time when one is going through that process, it is difficult to understand the deep meaning underneath the process. Only after the event passes and our bitterness decreases, do we start to unveil the event and thus get the message given through it. What to do? Life is like that. Strange! Isn’t it? Sabak kab padhati hai, aur arth kab samjhati hai.
I may be wrong, but I do feel that all the anger & venom are also a show case of LOVE which people do out of frustration. They believe that the world is going to end if this relationship gets over. They feel rejected and thus want to do everything to save the relationship and in order to do so, they make it worse. May be because,
“’Tis hard to part when friends are dear
Perhaps ‘twill cost a sigh, a tear.”- Anonymous
One thing that I really want to emphasize that Love is worship. If you love someone, love with dignity. No one is worth crying for, because the one who is good and loves you will never make you cry, and the one who makes you cry is not worth your love.
As time passes by, the process of healing starts and you understand the message better. Then you think, alas if we could have kissed & parted, it would have been so much better. But at that time it is difficult to apprehend this. As,
“Life is a tale, told by an idiot
Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” – William Shakespeare
Pl. do share your thoughts.
