The Light At The End of The Tunnel

This thought of mine is in continuation of my last blog where I thought to explore the reason behind the misery of lost love. Why is it that the relationships which started on a note of never ending and long lasting friendships – where so much of pleasure was expected – ends in extreme displeasure and a lasting impression of hurt? Is it our expectations which arise out of attachment?

True. Attachment is the root cause of all our expectations. When someone loves a person, whether that person is a friend, a relative, spouse or child, it is natural to feel our right on that person even if it is not given to us officially. Human nature is such that when we give something to someone, even if it is love, respect, care, we want all these things back in return and when we don’t get it, we get disturbed, depressed and heartbroken. People think that they can win the world with their love, but it is not always the case. Everyone’s perception of understanding and perceiving things are very different. Everyone has their own logic and every one of them is right as per their own mental & social upbringing.

To my understanding, human life is like a whirlpool. It brings happiness as well as pain and suffering because of these attachments knowingly or unknowingly. Though we all grew up with the saying, “Expectation is the root cause of all our sufferings,” we still expect something in return. When one is in love they idealize the other person and thus have high expectations from them, but in the end, it is not possible for that person to live up to our expectations. If one can limit their expectations, they can save themselves from the horror and terror of it. Most of the time our expectations in any kind of relationship is very high, sometimes it can be impractical and illogical. In spite of its illogicality & impracticality, it causes pain if it is not met.

This realization of pain actually starts the quest for peace. What should we all do to overcome our suffering? Once we know the cause of our suffering, which is because of our attachment with worldly objects – be it a person or thing, we start looking for a way out. And then comes, the revelation that the only way to peace is to look within and try to listen to our inner self. At least that effort of looking within will start the process of freedom from pain.

Spiritual knowledge is the only thing that can destroy everyone’s misery forever. This cannot be achieved only by reading books or listening to different philosophies. It also needs to be experienced and comes from within. As we all know that Life is a teacher and it teaches us its lessons time to time. It depends on us how we take it. The world is a grand moral gymnasium wherein we all have to take part so as to become stronger and stronger spiritually. I am not saying it is an easy task to do. To attain this detachment is almost a life-work, but as soon as we have reached this point, we have attained the goal of love and thus become free.

All of us become very much attached to the fruits of our action. If our only motivation to do something is to gain pleasure out of it, we are bound to be unhappy because we are not always going to get what we want. That is why Lord Krishna Says to Arjuna,

"कर्मण्ये वाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचना , मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते संगोस्त्वकर्मानी !"(Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana, Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey sangostvakarmani)

“To work we have the right, but not to the fruits thereof". Leave the fruits alone. Why care for results? If you wish to help a man, never think what that man's attitude should be towards you. If you want to do a great or good work, do not trouble to think what the result will be.

"When you give something to someone expect nothing. Be grateful to the man you help. If we are really unattached, we should escape all this pain of vain expectations, and should cheerfully do good work in the world.. With love there is no painful reaction; love only brings a reaction of bliss; if it does not, it is not love; it is mistaking something else for love. "-Swami Vivekananda

Just think of Meera, how madly she was in love with God. If we all could simply show the same madness for God which we show for our beloved, we would be much more peaceful. Rev. Prabhupaadji expressed similar views while writing his Preface for Bhagwad Gita.

Keeping no expectations in mind, if one works in life, then maybe he or she will be able to handle the complexities of life and thus remain happy. We all have to do our share of penance alone in order to understand the purpose of life. These four lines are for those who have understood the gist of love,

"शिकवों के वर्क छूट गए, चाहों के ढलती कब्रों पर,

अवशेष नहीं, न कुछ बाकी ; हर जलना तो होता एकाकी ."

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